except that you're wrong because I am proof. I was abused. We separated. I sought counseling, he never wanted to. I learned how to recognize the signs of abuse and protect myself. I also learned how to forgive and why people are abusive. He saw me go to counseling and eventually started going too. He started dealing with his issues. When we got back together I was able to stand up to him and be a strong person. He was able to control his temper. We were both able to leave it in the past and start over. It has been seven years since this all happened, we are very happily married with no more instances of abuse. So stop acting like you alone have all the answers.

i think if someone wants to change bad enough they will, once they realize they were wrong.

I do agree with you in a small way, but I seen a Psychiatrist for 71/2 – 8 yrs. I discussed all my problems with my doctor. Of course, he suggested my husband come to some of the sessions. Of course my husband refused, I but I went anyway. They finally told me I wasn't the only one with the problem, but I am the only one in the house hold that knows what the problem is. He stated that I continuously keep taking my medicine and try teaching the others what I have learned. If you were to run away instead of facing the problem, the problem will never get solved. It could happen to someone else and even get worse. Now if the abuse is physical I do completely agree. They should also call authorities right before they leave. This will differently prevent it from happening again.

I don't believe in counseling because the husband never tells the truth and won't open up. Go to a book store and get a book on the subject it works as good if not better only because you can read it over and over then apply what you just read on your husband the same day.

thats damn right!

I agree that both partners should and want to go to counseling. I suggest counseling only if there has been no physical abuse. When the physical abuse starts then there usually is no hope. I do think that some people can get help who are emotionally and physically abusive…..but counseling is usually not effective to someone who resorts to physical violence. If someone is being physically abusive…I usually tell them to RUN from the relationship…..not walk.

Is it true?

if someone is crazy enough to abuse you, i will advie you not to clean out their bank account. i have seen about 4 cases like this on FORENSICS and SNAPPED where the wives cleaned out the bank account and ran. they all ended up DEAD

no disrespect to the counselor who answered – but couples counseling for abuse is ridiculous and yes – a HUGE waste of time and $$. you have a responsibility to yourself to stay safe. get out while you can, before it gets worse. for every 1 person that may change – do you realize how many people are killed or injured for life (physically and emotionally) by those who don't. If the relationship is worth saving and that person is saying they will change – let them seek whatever means they need to change – when they are different start things back up slowly – to see for yourself. but sadly, 99.9 % of people are set in their ways – good and bad, and will not change..