I feel that people are foolish for not getting marriage guidance when their marriage is in trouble. Isn’t it worth it to swallow your pride in order to have a good and happy marriage?

In any case this is the way that things are so I’m going to give you some marriage tips even though you didn’t ask me for them.

One of the major causes of marriage problems is a spouse who suffers from depression. In the beginning of their suffering the other spouse will try to help them but a lot of  time they get annoyed by the fact that the spouse who suffers from depression doesn’t do anything to get out of his situation.

In this article I will present to you 3 reasons why a depressed person might refuse help to get out of his depression. After you understand “where she is coming from” you’ll be less annoyed by her seemingly irrational behavior and you will be able to help them to overcome this difficult disorder.

1. Familiarity. One of the reasons that someone who suffers from depression finds it difficult to go for help to overcome this disorder can be summed up by quoting the words  of a nineteenth  century song,  “Be it ever so humble, there is no place like home.” In other words, people, in general, feel comfortable in familiar settings, even when their situation is far from ideal.

It is true that he feels horrible, is always grouchy, and cannot find any joy in his life. However, he reasons that the safe feeling that he feels being in his familiar setting (of being depressed) outweighs  the discomfort of his depression.

2. Fear Of Failure. Most (I admit not all) depressed people were not born with a chemical imbalance that causes their depression. It is usually triggered off with a series of failures. He might have lost a job, did bad in school, or failed in a relationship. In short, he has tasted, more than once, the bitter taste of failure.

Because he has experienced the pain and the misery of failing he doesn’t want to set himself for another round of failure. Therefore he chooses to continue to  suffer the pain of depression in order not to suffer the pain of failing to get out of his depression.

3. Fear Of Success. What I’m about to say might seem harsh but there IS a payoff for being depressed. As long as she is depressed she has a very good excuse to be lazy and not to face the difficulties of life.

I’m talking about life’s major difficulties, but she made for herself a refuge to hide from  everyday annoyances such as getting along with neighbors and coworkers, keeping within a budget, and just keeping up with all the responsibilities that we have.

This being so, a depressed person might resist going for help for fear of successfully beating their depression and having to face the pressures of everyday life.

You might feel uncomfortable to seek out marriage guidance even though you are going through tough times. Therefore if you are annoyed at your spouse’s unwillingness to get help for their depression try to understand where they are coming from so you’ll be in the right frame of mind to  help them  without outside help.

Are you experiences marriage problems that cause you stress or pain and would like to solve those problems? Then go to http://www.greatfamilycoaching/badmarriagest/ and discover over 30 tips on how to fix up your marriage.

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Author: Shevach Pepper

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