Can unhappy marriages and relationships be avoided?

11 comments

1. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   Yes I believe that unhappiness in marriage/relationships can be avoided. Getting to the point of unhappiness/or being unhappy in any relationship takes time to develop. Recognizing the signs and symptoms, are just as important as recognizing signs, or evidence of cancer.
   Unhappiness is like a cancer in any can of relationship. Knowing how to act when difficulties arise, and acting appropriately are paramount.
   When opportunities to act are missed, there has to be resolution which brings neutrality, in the place of distortion(s); an immediate resolution, not something that is put off for later on.
   It's just unfortunate that, ones who find themselves unhappy in their marriages, and/or any relationship involving people. Lack the knowledge, experience, and sometimes the willingness to do whatever is necessary to restore peace and respect.
2. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   Yes. One word: Expectations.

   Do you know what makes a relationships endure? It’s not love, trust, respect, honesty, attachment, monogamy or any of those things! Those things may be necessary for a HEALTHY relationship, but two people can completely despise each other and still be in a relationship simply because they don’t “expect” anything more from each other. Does that make sense?

   Some people expect to be treated poorly or when they meet someone who does treat them well in the beginning, but later doesn’t appreciate them anymore, they stay in the relationship anyway. Your partner will respect you more if they know that you have expectations and if you are able to clearly communicate those expectations. Bad relationships continue because we allow them to and because we reward the other person’s inappropriate behavior with our continued affection or indifference.

   Want to avoid a bad date, relationship, or marriage? Know what you want and don’t compromise. It is that simple. If you tell yourself he is perfect, BUT, he doesn’t dress like I want him to or he does this or that you are headed for trouble! You know how difficult it is for you to change an unhealthy habit or something bad about yourself, right? Why in the world would you think you can change ANYTHING about somebody else! You want to be loved for who you are AS you are, right? So does everybody else!

   Expectations. Yes, I expect for this person to treat me with respect. Yes, I expect for this person to return my phone calls or text messages. Yes, I expect for this person to be affectionate, caring, concerned, and attentive. Yes, I expect for this person to pay attention when I am talking, to remember my birthday and our anniversary. Yes, I expect for this person to share my views and my life philosophy. It is not their fault if they don’t – - it just means that we aren’t on the same level – - and if that is the case then I DON’T expect for a relationship to develop. Pass this on and save someone some heartbreak!

   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5MLG8vMS…

3. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   The reason you date is to meet people and get to know them. When you find someone that you have so much in common with then you only date them and talk about everything there is to talk about. Kids, family, future, friends, money, bills, everything that could ruin a relationship. Some think that they have to have sex before marriage to hold the guy, WRONG, if the guy really loves you he will only be to grateful to wait, not happy about it, but will understand that it is a good idea. The more you know about a person the less likely the relationship will end.
4. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   You can minimize the chance of being unhappy by asking really good questions before marriage. But the truth is that once you create a child – sometimes people change for the worse. And sometimes they change knowing full well that with a child in the mix, they can get away with a LOT of stuff that their partner would NEVER tolerate if there was no child.

   For instance I KNOW a bunch of questions I could have with a woman to get a sense of how similar she is to my current wife. My current and only wife til death do us part is GREAT. But I was a little lucky getting her. Now I know a lot more stuff. I will tell my children this before they pick mates. Still – they may not listen.

5. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   Yes, it depends on the two individuals in the relationship. If this relationship consist of understanding, compassion, caring and trust, then there can be love and harmony. These ingredients with many more come natural establishing a foundation for a lasting relationship as individuals and as a couple. However, all things need nourishment, so will this relationship.
6. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   Yes.

   If both parties are willing to set aside their selfish desires and focus solely on the emotional, physical, and social needs of their partners.

   If both parties are focusing on the needs of their partner, then both will be fulfilled. The problem is finding two selfless people in the first place.

7. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   Yes. Marry someone who is the MOST LIKE YOU.
   Have the same values, and the same comforts, and the same interests but most of all marry someone who LIKES YOU; you as in YOU, not a fantasy woman, not a mother, not a wife, not a anything. Marry someone who LIKES you.
8. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   Nope but they can be repaired, every one is unique and set in there own ways of doing things, a long with that they also expect certain things from others that may be illusional, the key is to be honest , open and to speak to each other.
9. 

   admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

   Yes but it takes work and not just one sided. You both have to agree on a happy medium and if not then things may not be so happy after all.
10. 

    admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

    Sure, but it takes two people who want to try to make it better, not just one.
11. 

    admin on August 30, 2009 at 7:44 am

    I don't think so

    Matters of the heart …. and life tests …